Perhaps the biggest milestone of the past few months was graduating from the first phase of my program in May. I received my Masters in Hebrew Letters from HUC-JIR, culminating the core curriculum and signifying three years of intense study with my school. Though some laughed it off as a consolation prize, (I am now halfway through my path to the rabbinate) I personally found it meaningful and important. After devoting three years of my life to this education, having the ability to stand proudly and receive a Masters degree (and a hood!) felt amazing. Having my family and those I love there with me made it all the more special.
It also highlighted the importance of having ritual ceremonies - ones that mark the end of one period and the beginning of another. We need them to acknowledge the passing of time; to recognize that we have changed. Our families need them to see how hard we've worked, and what we've devoted ourselves to. Altogether, graduations can be a sacred occasion where we recognize how far we've come. They mark the liminal moments in our lives when we hang in balance between one and another.
One week later, I said goodbye to my student pulpit in El Centro. It was a tearful, celebratory weekend in the Imperial Valley. To say that my congregants have made an impact on my life is a tremendous understatement. They are a phenomenal group of individuals committed to preserving Jewish life in an incredibly non-Jewish place. They are kind and open, warm and supportive. They helped me through the two most difficult years of my personal life. And they taught me infinitely more about being a rabbi than I could ever teach them about being Jewish. I will miss them more than words can say, but know that our relationships will last way beyond these blessed two years.
That same weekend, I also said farewell to the religious school in which I have taught for two years - the same congregation where I grew up and cultivated my Jewish identity. It was a bittersweet goodbye. My parents are no longer members, so my connection to the synagogue has frayed over the years. It was not always the most positive experience going there on Sunday mornings, and I often felt that preparations for religious school teaching was the last thing on my mind. But that school gave me so much. My students were absolutely incredible - bright, determined, hardworking, hilarious. That school introduced me to my dear friend Justin, a man whose presence is deeply missed each and every day. It gave me mentors and role models, and set the bar for solid Jewish education. And it helped me discover my desire to be an educator, beyond my rabbinic ordination. For those experiences and so much more, I will always be grateful.
Amid the chaos of graduation and goodbyes, I also moved out of my apartment in West Hollywood. JFro in WeHo - my original blog name and Jdate handle - is no more. I moved into that apartment immediately following a bad breakup in November 09. It was my refuge, my solace, and provided me with the foundation to make a new start; to discover myself. It was my home for a year and a half, and though it was time to move on, the change was a difficult one to make. That goodbye was perhaps the hardest of all.
Yet there is so much excitement on the horizon. There is so much I am learning and doing and experiencing that I feel is making me a better rabbi, teacher, person, and friend. Embracing the changes - and experiencing the transitions with an open, patient heart - is helping me discover more about myself.
And having the love and support of those along for the ride with me is, quite simply, icing on the cake.
Looking forward to more adventures in living, loving, and laughing.
Jaclyn
Great update Jac! Beautifully written, as always <3
ReplyDelete